I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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