Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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