Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
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She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
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Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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