haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize