Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize