1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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