keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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