Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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