Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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