cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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