Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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