4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize