Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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