we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
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every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
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And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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