Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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