Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
we're making bets on your personal life
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize