Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
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Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
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I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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