who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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