the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize