I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
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The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
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You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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