he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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