He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
how drunk are you?
Several
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize