real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
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So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
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Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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