Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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