i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize