Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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