I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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