Princesses don't give blow jobs
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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