You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
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I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
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We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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