when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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