I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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