You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
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He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
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there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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