The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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