dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
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you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
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Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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