living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
My dick has a subreddit
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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