YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize