sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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