She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
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