I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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