i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize