You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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