i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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