I am puke
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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