Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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