I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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