I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize