Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
not ubering you a puppy
Randomize