He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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