I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize