First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize