escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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