lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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